Jude Hardin

Taking A Break

2009-03-19T12:42:00.003-05:00

Coolness

2009-03-11T06:46:00.003-05:00

I was browsing through my pictures the other day, and I ran across this wolf. I had no idea where it came from. Blood Tattoo was the tentative title for a YA horror novel I was working on a while back, but I didn't remember mocking up a book cover. In fact, I don't even know how to do what was done to this picture.

Then it occurred to me that my son must have done this. I asked him, and he said yes he did. I had told him the title, and he did the mock cover one day when he was bored. Never told me about it.

I think it's pretty cool.

And, it has prompted me to get back to work on the story.

You might find it impossible not to be...

2009-03-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

J.A. Konrath, author of the popular Jacqueline “Jack” Daniels mystery series, is currently on virtual tour promoting his new standalone horror thriller Afraid. Afraid will arrive in stores March 31, published under the pseudonym Jack Kilborn. I’ve read the first few chapters, and can honestly say I've never been more creeped out. If you’re looking for white-hot jolts of marrow-zapping electric fear, Afraid promises to deliver.

Joe Konrath has always been a champion for writers trying to break into the business, and you can find a slew of useful tips on his website and blog. Today, he has been kind enough to stop here and share some wisdom on the subject of landing a literary agent.

As most of you know, agents are sort of the intermediaries in the publishing process. A typical scenario would be for a beginning writer to finish his or her book, revise it until it shines, and then start sending letters (called queries) to agents. If an agent agrees to represent the writer, s/he will then submit the manuscript to publishers for consideration. Agents typically work for 15%-20% commission.

There are agents who blog, and most literary agencies have their own websites, but I thought it might be nice to get a successful author's perspective. So, without further ado, allow me to introduce author J. A. Konrath.

First of all, Joe, thanks so much for stopping by.

I’m happy to be here, Jude.

Why do writers even need agents? Wouldn’t it make more sense for writers to submit directly to publishers, thereby keeping all the money from advances and royalties for themselves?

There are multiple answers to that question. First off, many of the big publishers don’t accept unagented submissions. In case you hadn’t noticed, everyone and their brother has a book they want to sell. Hell, my dog is working on a manuscript (it’s called A Paws In Silence.)

LOL!

Publishers have appointed agents as gatekeepers, using them to vet out the crap. A good agent only submits good books, which save the publisher a lot of time.

Secondly, agents do more than sell your book. In fact, they don’t actually sell your book at all. They sell the rights for a publisher to print and distribute your book for a certain length of time.

Let me repeat that, for all the newbies out there. You don’t need to register a copyright for your recently completed opus. You own the rights automatically. Then an agent sells those rights to different companies.

Besides North American rights, that cover the US and Canada, an agent will try to sell to many other countries as well. They’ll also try to sell book club rights, movie rights, TV rights, theatrical rights, first serial rights, among others.

Finally, a good agent does more than sell your stuff. They keep track of who owes you money, make sure you get the best contract possible, offer career advice, and often work with you to improve your manuscript.

Not a bad deal for just 15% of your income.

Good points. Well worth the commission, I think. So, when should a writer start shopping for an agent? How did you know you were ready?

When you have a perfect, polished, marketable manuscript.

What exactly do you mean by marketable?

Marketable means it has a pre-existing audience. If you walk into a Barnes & Noble, you’ll notice the books are all divided into sections. Make sure your book fits into one of those sections.

Was it easy for you to find an agent?

It was easy as pie. But this particular pie took twelve years to bake. During that time I wrote nine unsold books and got over five hundred rejections.

There’s a word for a writer who never gives up. Published.

I agree. Persistence is crucial. What if an agent agrees to represent you, but insists on charging upfront fees. Is this ever a good idea?

It’s a great idea for the agent. I may give it a try. Agents don’t need any sort of license or accreditation, so anyone can claim to be one.

So I’m going to place an ad in a magazine, calling myself an agent, and asking for a $25 reading fee.

If I can get 200 people a month to submit, I’m making a pretty decent living without having to sell a thing. Then if I charge these people an extra $20 a month for office supplies, or phone calls, I could be earning six figures a year, preying on newbie writers.

Or a better bet is to only submit manuscripts to agents you belong to the Association of Author’s Representatives, who follow a strict canon of ethics which states they charge zero fees. You can find them at www.aar-online.org.

Where are some other good places to look for reputable agents?

Besides the AAR, there are two yearly books, The Writer’s Market and Jeff Herman’s Guide.

But the best way to find an agent is to meet one in person. Go to a writer’s conference where agents are taking pitches, then pitch to them.

Once you sign with an agent, are you pretty much guaranteed to become published?

No. Agents sell maybe five to ten percent of the projects they take on. But a good agent will continue to build you, nurture you, and stick with you until a sale is made.

Afraid is a rather dramatic departure from your first five novels, the aforementioned Jacqueline “Jack” Daniels series. Was your detour into the horror genre something you discussed with your agent before you wrote the book?

My agent suggested it. I’d always wanted to do a horror novel, and had a lot of fan mail asking me to do so. I pitched her a concept, she liked it, and a few years later I had a horror novel, and a contract for another one.

Where do you think you would be in your career right now if you had never landed a literary agent?

I’d be asking you if you want fries with your burger. I’d also suggest pie for dessert. Mmmmm. Pie.

Man, all this talk about pie is making me hungry. Is there anything you would like to add in closing?

I’m all about helping newbie authors, because publishing is a difficult business to break into, and real professional advice is hard to come by. My blog and website are full of information about agents, writing, editing, marketing, and promotion. Best of all, they're free.

Now please rush right out and buy 17 copies of all of my books. Do it now, before you forget.

***

Thanks again to J.A. Konrath for stopping by and sharing his insights. Coming soon, a full review of his newest novel, Afraid, right here on this blog. So stay tuned!

A Semi-Serious Question

2009-02-26T17:37:00.002-05:00

First of all, check out J.A. Konrath's excellent post titled "Confident or Delusional" here.

Now. Let's say I'm working on the second book of a series without having a contract yet on the first. Considering the current publishing climate, does that make me confident or delusional?

Top Ten Reasons to Quit Writing

2009-02-18T09:11:00.002-05:00

10. The odds of landing a book deal right now are about the same as winning the lottery and being struck by lightning on the same day.

9. Even if you do manage to get a book deal, you can make more money bagging groceries.

8. Blank, white, rectangular thingies with the number 1 in the top right corner make you want to puke.

7. You could never write anything as good as {insert name of favorite author here}, so why even bother?

6. If you add one more rejection letter to the pile, the Earth might actually tilt on its axis.

5. There’s this abstract concept you vaguely remember called “a life,” and you’re starting to think you might need to get one.

4. You’re so preoccupied sometimes, complete strangers tap you on the shoulder and say, “Are you all right?”

3. You plan to make whoever was responsible for getting your order wrong at Hardee’s drive-thru yesterday a victim in your next mystery.

2. You have erotic dreams about the sales clerk at Staples.

And the number one reason to quit writing is...

Screw it. I'm not even going to waste my time posting the number one reason. If you’re really a writer, you’ll just ignore it anyway.

How to Lose Weight and Get a Seven-Figure Book Deal, Part Two

2009-02-04T16:44:00.003-05:00

So where am I going with this? What could any of this possibly have to do with writing? With getting a seven-figure book deal?

Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Tess Gerritsen, Brad Thor, John Grisham, Janet Evanovich, Robert Crais...

What do all these bestselling novelists have in common?

I’ll tell you what they have in common. They are SKINNY.

Just a coincidence? Or is there something a little more sinister going on here? Is there a direct correlation between body proportions and book sales? Is the publishing industry secretly blackballing husky, paunchy, plump, rotund, tubby, beefy, heavy, pot-bellied, plus-sized writers while promoting their lean counterparts? What is an editor really saying when he tells you to trim the fat?

It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! Just ask any fat writer who hasn’t gotten a book deal yet or who hasn’t made it to the NYT bestseller list.

So, I’m determined to lose thirty pounds this year, and the only way I know how to do that is to eat less and exercise more.

But, as anyone who has tried can testify, eating less and exercising more isn’t as easy as it sounds. I can subject myself to The Administrator of Pain (no, I don’t have a dominatrix. I’m talking about my exer-cycle, you perverts, so get your minds out of the gutter!) for twenty minutes every day, only to see negligible results by the end of the week. You see, twenty minutes on level 5 of the Plateau mode only burns 140 calories. That doesn’t sound bad, until you consider that SITTING ON YOUR ASS DOING NOTHING burns about 40. So, twenty minutes of torture for a net expenditure of 100 calories. That’s one light beer. Half a Snickers bar. One friggin’ bite of a cheeseburger...

And now, without further ado, here’s what you’ve been patiently waiting for: Math!

According to my exhaustive, painstaking research (i.e. about thirty seconds on Google), to lose one pound a week, I need to alter my caloric intake/expenditure by 500 calories a day. So, if I burn 100 calories/day through increased exercise, and lower my caloric intake by 400, I should, in approximately four years, theoretically, disappear.

Gee. I hope I get a book deal before that happens.

How to Lose Weight and Get a Seven-Figure Book Deal, Part One

2009-01-29T22:57:00.003-05:00

One of my humanities professors in college, a rather portly fellow I’ll call Dr. Gibbs, once told me vigorous physical exercise is actually very bad for you. You’re only allotted a certain number of heartbeats per lifetime, he said, and exercise makes them tick off way faster than necessary.

Hmm...

About a year ago, I bought a stationary bicycle equipped with enough digital bells and whistles to plot the course of a rocketship to Mars. I’m sure you’ve seen similar ones--in gyms, in sporting goods stores, in dark cobwebbed corners of friends’ basements. Maybe you even have one yourself. Or, maybe you have a treadmill. Or a weight bench. Or the latest gadget from a TV infomercial.

Admit it. At some point during your lifetime, you have purchased an expensive piece of exercise equipment with the intention of finally getting in shape. If you can commit to just twenty minutes per day, you reckon, you’ll be looking like Michelangelo’s sculpture of David in no time. Right?

Well...

The models you see in ads have to work out several hours a day to maintain those perfect physiques. Working out is their job. It’s their life. They're really, like, you know, into it. If you can commit to just twenty minutes per day, it will take you approximately 314 years to have the kind of body those models have.

Okay, so maybe you’ll settle for losing a little weight and improving your overall fitness. That sounds reasonable.

That, I’ve decided, is my goal for 2009. To lose thirty pounds.

Will riding my fancy exer-cycle for twenty minutes every day help me achieve my goal?

First of all, if you’ve ever climbed onto one of those contraptions and started pedaling, you know twenty minutes is a glacial age. If an archeological team digs up my bike in 5000 years, they’ll undoubtedly think it was some kind of 21st century torture device. Back then, interrogators would escort a suspect into a dusty space illuminated by a naked bulb, unveil the machine and say, “Vee half vays of making you talk.” If the suspect lasted twenty minutes, well, it was a safe bet they were never going to give up the goods...

Twenty minutes of huffing and puffing. Twenty minutes of quadriceps screaming for mercy. Twenty minutes of ass-numbing boredom.

Not to mention the...perspiration. You know, you have to take a shower afterward. There’s just no getting around it. You can’t expect another human to want to be around you after your daily Sweat-O-Rama. So, you have to take a second shower for the day, use twice as much water, twice as much electricity, soap, shampoo, deodorant...

When you get down to it, this thing called exercise is costing you--and the planet Earth--a fortune. It’s totally un-green. If everyone stopped exercising today, we could probably stop global warming in its tracks.

But I digress. Back to my goal!

Must...focus...on...goal...Spock...

Regardless of what the latest fad diet book or dietary supplement advertisement might tell you, weight loss/gain is all about calories consumed vs. calories burned. If you eat more and exercise less, you will gain weight. If you eat less and exercise more, you will lose weight. It’s a very simple formula...

So where am I going with this? What could any of this possibly have to do with writing? With getting a seven-figure book deal?

Stay tuned.

Blue Chip Day

2009-01-23T19:09:00.002-05:00

52 weeks ago today, at approximately 6:30pm, I smoked my last cigarette. I had quit many times before, but this time I tried something different: poker chips.

After going one week without cigarettes, I gave myself a white chip. On the fourth week, I traded three whites for one red. And so on. Today, I traded all my red chips in for one blue chip.

52 weeks.

After a thirty-year love affair with tobacco, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I still dream about cigarettes. That's how strong the addiction is.

If you don't smoke, don't start. It's one of the worst things you can do to your body. If you do smoke, give poker chips a try. It worked for me.

We Have Nothing to Fear but...

2009-01-13T10:04:00.001-05:00

A few things that don’t scare me:

1.Ghosts
2.Vampires
3.Zombies
4.Werewolves
5.Witches

I think you get the idea.

A few things that do scare me:

1.Abduction
2.Confusion
3.Pain
4.Psychosis
5.Satan

So tell me. What frightens you most? If you were going to write a horror novel, what would it be about?

Should part of our journeys as writers be to stare down our darkest demons?

What's Your Book About?

2009-01-09T22:53:00.002-05:00

Ever been asked that question?

Sure you have.

My stock answer (to well-meaning but often naïve laypeople) is usually “murder,” which invariably stops them dead in their tracks. What they’re after, really, is a plot summary.

But plot summaries, to me, are boring. Every plot imaginable has been told thousands of times. Plots are finite, characters infinite. But even a well-drawn, compelling character might fall short in the eyes of an acquisition editor.

So what makes my book different? Why would anyone want to read another story where a PI gets involved in a murder/kidnapping case?

The answer, if you think about it, isn’t what the story is about, but why this character goes to great lengths, risking life and limb, to solve a case (or win someone’s love, or save the world, etc.), when it would be so much easier just to walk away. Why bother?

If you really want to answer the question, you have to start thinking about themes. Not what, but why.

You might not start out with a theme in mind. Even if you don’t, subconsciously there is a current that drives the people in your novel to do what they do. The characters themselves might not be able to vocalize it. The reader might never recognize it. But it’s there. It has to be there, or there is no story. Not one of lasting value, anyway.

Personally, I don’t think about themes at all while I’m writing. But when I go back and read, study, what I’ve written, I can often see that yes, that’s what this was all about!

It’s a magical moment when you discover a theme. Don’t waste it. Go with it, explore and exploit it, rewrite until every scene relates back to it.

If you don’t have any themes in mind when you start, don’t worry. They will emerge. When they do, the smart writer takes advantage of them.

So, dear friends. Tell me. What’s your book about?

This is a rerun. It was originally posted November 2006.

Donations for Travis

2009-01-06T19:24:00.002-05:00

Something horrific happened to blogger, aspiring author, and all-around nice guy Travis Erwin Sunday morning: his house burned to the ground. Travis and his family made it out alive, but they are now essentially homeless. Stephen Parrish and Erica Orloff have set up a site for doantions here.

Times are tough right now for all of us, but just think what it would be like to suddenly lose your home. Let's all pull together and give Travis a boost toward rebuilding his life.

Profound Cerebral Question #6

2009-01-06T09:27:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to be wasting time if you're enjoying yourself?

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T08:23:00.002-05:00

Just think of all the fun we're going to have.

In 2009, I want to finish my YA horror novel, and I want to lose thirty pounds. Very doable goals, I think.

How about you? Any resolutions you'd like to share?

Marco, Part 2

2008-12-29T19:26:00.003-05:00

Just as, in my opinion, Marco needed to earn the title of perfumier, writers, in my opinion, need to earn the title of published author.

Anyone who can scratch out words on a page can have those words printed and bound and put up for sale on sites like Amazon. To me, that type of publishing is tantamount to bottling perfume from a basement lab and selling it from a briefcase in a bar.

In other words, it’s very likely that the end product will stink.

I was at a writer’s conference one time, outside smoking a cigarette, when a fellow attendee strolled up and asked for a light.

“What kind of stuff do you write?” he asked.

“Hardboiled. I’m working on a private eye novel.”

“Anything published yet?”

“Not yet. I’m still looking for an agent. How ‘bout you?”

“Yeah, I have a book out.”

“Really? Who’s the publisher?”

He named a certain POD outfit. "Here, let me give you one of my cards...”

He handed me a business card and walked away. He avoided me for the duration of the conference, preferring instead to hang around with other “published authors.” I felt like grabbing him by the collar and shouting you’re not published either, you punk, but of course I didn’t. Anyway, I doubt my harsh words would have penetrated his cloud of arrogance.

There are no shortcuts to becoming a published author. You have to earn the title by landing a contract with a legitimate publisher, and that can take years of hard work.

Some folks would rather throw up a lab in the basement and start hawking product right away (throw up and hawk being the key words there).

That’s their choice, I suppose, but I really don’t see the point.

Marco

2008-12-29T08:56:00.002-05:00

In a former life, I tended bar at a Mexican restaurant. It was a hole-in-the-wall dump of a place, a converted Frisch’s Big Boy with a few colorful blankets and sombreros and piñatas tacked to the walls for “atmosphere.” The food was authentic, though, and we always got good reviews in the newspaper.

I started each shift by cutting dozens of limes into wheels for garnishes, mixing five-gallon tanks of margaritas, and generally prepping the bar for what we called “Fiesta Hour.”

Between 2PM and 7PM, you could buy jumbo margaritas and well drinks for half-price, and you could eat fresh tortilla chips and homemade salsa for free. In theory, the cheap drinks and free snacks were supposed to stimulate customers’ appetites. In theory, they would then order a plate of rellenos or enchiladas or pollo con salsa verde. In practice, however, quite a few patrons regularly came in strictly for the cut-rate tequila buzz and comp munchies.

One of those patrons was a guy named Marco.

Mid-thirties, tall and thin, stringy blond hair, big Adam’s apple, still lived with his parents.

He always ordered multiple margaritas on the rocks (light on the ice; he got more booze that way), multiple baskets of chips, and multiple tubs of hot and mild salsa. He never bought anything off the menu, and he never tipped me a dime.

But those weren't the main reasons I dreaded seeing him.

You see, Marco was a self-proclaimed perfumier. He had a “laboratory” set up in his basement, where he distilled oils and essences, spices and extracts--all sorts of exotic and volatile concoctions designed to titillate the human olfactory nerve. Drop-by-drop, Mad Scientist Marco filled tiny glass vials with these precious potions of his, and then mounted the vials in a briefcase for display. Sometimes he brought the briefcase to the bar with him.

There was only one problem with Marco’s fragrances: they didn’t smell very good. In fact, they stunk.

That’s not just my opinion. Everybody who ever smelled Marco’s products said they stunk. Popping the cork on one of his bottles was like unleashing the hounds of perfume hell. Imagine an elevator full of blue-haired, lipstick-toothed octogenarians, whose senses of smell died sometime during the Carter administration. Add a couple of funeral sprays, some rubbing alcohol, and maybe a dash of Pine Sol. Shake well.

Oh, he occasionally sold one of those vile vials, to a kindly cocktail server or a nearby customer who took pity on him. I even bought a bottle one time, only to pitch it in the dumpster on my way home.

Unfortunately, our patronage only encouraged him. He kept making more of that kerosene cologne, kept trying to hawk it during Fiesta Hour. Eventually, the restaurant owner had a talk with him. Marco didn’t come in very often after that.

Marco’s dream was to be a famous perfume designer. The way I see it, he went about it all wrong.

Shouldn’t you know a little bit about chemistry? Shouldn't you be aware of how various substances might interact with human glandular secretions? Shouldn’t you maybe spend some time in Paris or New York or somewhere studying with masters of the trade? Shouldn’t you analyze popular scents on a molecular level to see just what it is about them that turns people on?

Marco didn’t do any of that. Marco bought some smelly stuff through the mail, pumped it into amateurish-looking containers, tried to sell it from a briefcase at the cantina.

And he wanted to call himself a perfumier.

Sorry, Marco, but you have to earn that title.

Amazing Fact #1

2008-12-25T20:00:00.002-05:00

As a nation, we eat 13,680 cans of Spam every hour.

P.I. Cri-Fi

2008-12-23T07:07:00.002-05:00

The novel I’m planning to go back on submission with in January falls under the general category of crime fiction, and under the general subgenre of private eye novel.

P.I. Cri-Fi.

You heard it here first.

One of the problems with private eye novels (or with any novels, for that matter) is coming up with a main character who stands out from the crowd.

Do we need another Philip Marlowe, another Spenser, or even another Amos Walker?

Nope. Those are all great characters, but they’ve been done. And done, and done...

Sometimes, especially with a P.I. novel, it’s tempting to fall into the voice of parody. Amusing, but not what I’m after.

What am I after?

I want a guy who’s honest. Compassionate. Loyal. Intelligent. A good lover and a capable fighter...

But, I also want a guy who’s wounded. Deeply wounded. So wounded, in fact, that the very essence of his being aches with it 24/7.

Is this the guy?

Twenty years after crawling from the fiery wreckage of a chartered jet and witnessing his wife and daughter perish, a blues guitarist turned private eye makes a horrifying discovery: the crash was not an accident...

Meet Nicholas Colt, PI. Once a successful recording artist with mansions on both coasts, he now resides near Jacksonville, Florida, in a 1964 Airstream Safari travel trailer. He’s forty-five, living paycheck to precarious paycheck, and is forever haunted by the memory of his wife and daughter. His music died with them, along with any faith in a higher power.

I think this is the guy. He’s my guy, anyway, and he’s different from every other private eye out there.

After a third major rewrite, the book is back in my agent’s hands now, and I’m hoping it will be back in some editors’ hands within the next month or so.

Will the third time be a charm?

Stay tuned.

Your turn. What makes your character stand out from the crowd?

Profound Cerebral Question #5

2008-12-21T18:19:00.001-05:00

Why are men so utterly pathetic at wrapping presents?

How to Write a Thriller: Part Three

2008-12-18T21:10:00.002-05:00

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Take a tense situation and pile on the complications. Just when it seems things have gotten as bad as they possibly can for you main character, make things worse. Start the clock ticking. Make the reader worry. The consequences of the main character failing to achieve his/her goals should be severe.

Now, you might be asking yourself, "Why is Jude Hardin qualified to give anybody writing advice about anything?"

That's a legitimate question. The answer?

I'M NOT!

These are just some tidbits I've learned from reading, reading, reading, and writing, writing, writing over the past few years.

And that's the best advice of all for aspiring writers, IMHO: Read more, write more.

You can belong to umpteen critique groups, pay thousands of dollars for an MFA, and visit every writing guru on the internet every day till Kingdom Come, but you're still going to have to put the reading and writing time in if you want a chance at publication.

There are no shortcuts. None at all.

Now get busy and write the next blockbuster, 'cause I really need something good to read!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas just ain't cuttin' it.

How to Write a Thriller: Part Two

2008-12-17T20:15:00.001-05:00

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

Give us a sense of who your main character is. We need a reason to care. Give us a glimpse into his/her psyche and motivations without dwelling on back story too long. Always keep the story moving forward, with tension on every page.

Why is your character uniquely equipped and motivated to tackle the arduous tasks that lie ahead?

Stay tuned for Part Three tomorrow!

How To Write a Thriller: Part One

2008-12-17T05:20:00.000-05:00

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

Start in media res. Blood on the floor. Tension from the get-go. Establish the primary conflict ASAP, and make sure it’s a clash that can sustain friction through to the climax.

Do you have an opening line or paragraph from a thriller that you'd like to share? It can be one of your own, or someone else's. Feel free to go nuts in the comment section.

Stay tuned for How to Write a Thriller: Part Two tomorrow.

Google Maps

2008-12-15T19:30:00.000-05:00

I can go here, type in my old address, click on the Street View option, and virtually roam the neighborhood I grew up in. I can actually see, with striking detail, the Crape Myrtle my grandmother planted in our front yard forty-some years ago.

Try it! You'll like it!

Isn't this a marvelous tool for writers? We no longer have to depend on memory for setting description. With a click here and a drag there, we're on location instantly.

Of course, I suppose this is also an excellent tool for burglars and other criminals. The real ones and the villains in our stories. They can case a neighborhood without ever leaving the comfort of their own lairs...

Profound Cerebral Question #4

2008-12-12T06:33:00.000-05:00

What happened to profound cerebral question #3?

So I've been thinking...

2008-12-10T17:39:00.000-05:00

About the MacGuffin thing. In the comments section of my previous post, my friend Erica said:

In a book, I would feel betrayed. Of course it's all in the exectuion, but depending on how big a plot point it is, if I got to page 300 and the author never clued me in, I don't think I'd be happy.

And in an email, my friend Lainey said:

I'm left wondering about that damn tape!

So I've been thinking, maybe this MacGuffin thing isn't such a great idea in a book after all.

When the book gets published, do I really want 500,000 emails saying What about that damn tape?!

Well, yeah, 500,000 emails would be awesome regardless of what they said. BUT, I definitely don't want my readers to feel betrayed, so I've decided to add some dialogue that will wrap up the loose MacGuffin ends. It'll take about five minutes, and that little problem will be solved.

Thanks to Erica and Lainey for catching me in time.

We hear a lot about how we should strive to make our books cinematic in nature, but it's always good to be reminded that what works in one medium might fail miserably in another.

My MacGuffin

2008-12-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

The book I’m planning to go back out on submission with in January contains what movie folks commonly refer to as a MacGuffin; that is, an object that motivates the characters and advances the plot, but is fairly meaningless otherwise.

Alfred Hitchcock is sometimes credited with coining the term. Someone once asked him about it in an interview, and he said (paraphrasing): It might have come from a conversation on a train. Traveler A asks Traveler B what he has in the baggage compartment.

“A MacGuffin,” says B.

“What’s a Macguffin?”

“It’s a contraption for trapping lions in the Scottish highlands.”

“But there are no lions in the Scottish highlands.”

“Then that, my good man, is no MacGuffin!”

So you see, said Hitchcock, a MacGuffin is really nothing at all...

In Pulp Fiction, it was the briefcase.

In my book, it’s a camcorder tape.

While readers might be curious about the history behind it, and how a certain character got her hands on it or whatever, the MacGuffin, by nature, is really of no consequence. It just...is. It’s a plot device, pure and simple.

In my case, I allow the reader to see what's on the tape, but everything else about it remains a mystery.

There would be no plot without it, yet it is of no importance.

Make sense?

Good.

Has anyone else ever used a MacGuffin? Planning to, maybe?

I’d love to hear about it.