Jude Hardin

Author, Drummer, Turtle Whisperer

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Location: United States

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Have a Coke and a Simile

I'll get back to my Splitting The Scene workshops soon, but I wanted to take a minute to talk about similes. You know, those phrases where two things (often essentially unlike things) are compared. I don't know about you, but I love 'em.

Many similes have become clich├ęs through the years: Blind as a bat, squeal like a pig, crazy as a loon, etc., but a good original one can add spice to your writing with imagery, humor and irony. Here are a few that might make it into my WIP:

"...inconspicuous as a diamond necklace on a squirrel."

"...about as light as Jimmy Swaggart's heart."

"...like trying to bring down an elephant with a pea shooter."

"...slick as pine bark."

"...hard as a Nerf ball."

As you can see, I lean toward the ironic ones. The trick with similes is to use them sparingly. Too many and you're in the realm of parody.

Okay, let's have some fun. Here are three prompts. It's up to you to complete the simile:

Skinny as...

Flat as...

Angry as...

Looking forward to seeing some original and funny ones!


Blogger r2 said...

About as angry as a newly-crowned prom queen.

About as flat as Hugh Hefner's wet dreams.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

Good ones, r2!

10:29 PM  
Blogger lainey bancroft said...

skinny as: a choco-holic's wallet at the Hershey factory

flat as: Paris Hilton's character...and chest

angry as: a PETA member at a fur convention

8:27 AM  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

LOL Lainey! Very nice.

Your similes reminded me of my first marriage. I wanted to go to Hershey, PA for our honeymoon, but she wanted to go to Hilton Head. We ended up going to Hilton Head, which was pretty boring IMO. I still haven't made it up to Hershey, but maybe some day. :)

8:51 AM  
Blogger PJ Parrish said...

Hi Jude,
Welcome to the blogosphere; enjoyed your first entries.

Similes...no, they don't come easy. (That's a lyric, I think but brain mold prevents me from remembering who sang it).

To answer your simile challenge, I'd have to know what style you want: cozy or chick lit sleuth similes are different than hardboiled PIs.

My entries for cozy:

She was as skinny as a Manolo Bhalnik stilleto and I knew if I wanted her to be mine, I would pay dearly.

As I watched Erik walk away, my heart felt as flat as the cold Starbucks latte in my hand.

He was as angry as a chihuahua in a cashmere jumpsuit.

For Hardboiled:

She was as skinny as the quivering neon L of the LaBatts sign that hung in the Moosehead Saloon window.

Her voice was like driving from Searchlight to Needles on 95, flat and pitiless.

He was as angry as a condemned man's dreams.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

ROFLMAO! Those are friggin' AWESOME, Kris! First-rate all the way.

Thank you!

7:34 PM  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

BTW, Kris, "It Don't Come Easy" was written and recorded by Ringo Starr in 1970, with George Harrison on guitar and Stephen Stills on piano.

I have brain mold too. Had to Google it. :)

8:28 PM  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

Here's some I came up with:

Angry as an ingrown toenail.

Skinny as a Balabushka pool cue, with half the personality.

As flat and enticing as a counterfeit twenty.

I don't know how to do cozy. :)

9:00 AM  
Blogger r2 said...

Well, I would be about as happy as Orson Welles at a hotdog stand if you were to check out my new blog based on 30+ years in the advertising biz and how it relates to some of the stuff I see going on in the book publishing world.

10:20 PM  
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